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Marriage Is Not For Our Happiness, Or Is It?

Marriage Is Not For Our Happiness, Or Is It?

One of the greatest problems today plaguing marriage is the idea that one gets married to boost their own happiness. It’s this faulty understanding that has led to the rise of divorce, and even homosexual marriage which champions the idea that, “If it feels good, do it.” However, the purpose of marriage isn’t to make us happy.  If you asked a random person on the street (or social media) what the purpose of marriage is, they would say self-pleasure. Perhaps they wouldn’t say this in so many words, but in their actions and ways of speaking about romance and relationships, this definition becomes clear.  But no where does the Bible describe pleasure or happiness as being the end purpose of marriage. God created marriage, and described it’s purposes in the Bible, so if it’s not in the Bible, then it’s not one of the purposes of marriage.  So what are the purposes of marriage? While there are many, I think they can all be summed up in the following 3 categories 1. First and foremost, marriage is supposed to reflect the relationship of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:23-25) 2. Companionship (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:2-3) 3. Raising godly children (Genesis 1:28) Happiness, or pleasure, is not one of the purposes, and yet (and perhaps this is just me since I study marriage as a hobby) it seems like the “marriage isn’t for our happiness” idea has been beat to death, and I’m kind of tired of it. Is it just me, or have you heard this message too much too? If you perhaps haven’t heard the idea that marriage doesn’t equal... read more
Marriage Can Only Ever Be, One Man, One Woman, For Life

Marriage Can Only Ever Be, One Man, One Woman, For Life

Let us forget for a moment all the evidence that children are better off when raised by a mom and a dad. Let’s throw out for now the reality that redefining marriage actually abolishes marriage. Let’s pretend the Bible doesn’t actually clearly state that homosexuality as a sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Let us ignore all of these defenses for traditional marriage. With all the common arguments removed, can we as Christians still say that marriage can only ever be one man, one woman, for life? Yes we can.  – The reason we can is because of what the actual purpose of marriage is. Our problem is we have forgotten what marriage is actually about.  – More than 40 years ago when no-fault divorce became acceptable, the definition of marriage changed in America. Today, we believe that marriage is just about the happiness of two adults. Therefore, most of the appeals for homosexual marriage stem from emotion. “How could you prevent two people who love each other from being together?” Two people can “love” each other all they want, but that doesn’t make a marriage.  – Unfortunately, when we as Christians promote the idea that marriage is just for our happiness, we are unintentionally lending false credence to the Homosexual position. Suddenly, the argument becomes about allowing happiness for some, and denying happiness for others. That hardly seems fair or very “Christian”.  – The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of Christ and the church, and this is a relationship that can only be reflected by a man and a woman, not two men or two women, or more than two people.... read more
Is Your Relationship Just a Business Contract?

Is Your Relationship Just a Business Contract?

No one marries for love anymore today. Alas, the vast majority of relationships today are mere business contracts. Huh? Uh…Reagan, I think you need to check your calendar. This is 2016! Love has been liberated in the Western world. Marrying for love is the only reason people marry. People marry for any other reason unless they are part of a cult, and abusively forced to against their will. When you think of a relationship leading toward marriage that is “just a business contract,” what comes to mind? Well, probably something like what was mentioned above. Either an uber-conservative cult, or maybe the archaic systems of arranged marriage, betrothal, and courtship from days gone by. We recall from history when marriages often very much were just business contracts. Kings would have their children marry in order to form a political alliance between their two kingdoms. Other families married for status, or land, or wealth. It has become so cliche to watch movies today that take place in the medieval era that feature a romance plot where one person or another is being forced to marry someone against their will. What a tragedy! “But I don’t love him!” we will hear a character say. “I don’t want money! I want to marry the man I love!” Touching. I wonder, though, just how historically accurate are these plots? If arranged and forced marriages were so common, and marrying “for love” so alien, then probably most people saw being forced to marry someone they did not “love” as normal, and expected, just as today we expect everyone to go to college after they... read more
How Do I Know If I Am Ready for Marriage?

How Do I Know If I Am Ready for Marriage?

The last post in this series explored what the goal is for marriage (a husband specifically, since I am a man). My last article detailed what it is I should be aspiring to be as a future husband.  – This post is for exploring how I know when I’ve “made it” so to speak. The only problem is I’m never going to “make it” this side of eternity. As the common expression goes, “you’ll never be ready for marriage.” Well…if I’ll never be ready, then how do I know if/when I should get married? –  I have never really liked the expression, “No one is ever ready to marry.” Even if this is true…it’s not a very helpful statement. This statement seems to imply that because no one is ever ready to marry…anyone who is anyone can get married at any time (provided it is legal of course). This extreme doesn’t seem right either. –  Thinking more, however, I came to the realization that it really is true that none of us can ever be fully ready for marriage, but I think I can explain why in a more helpful and Biblical way. The reason why no one is ever ready for marriage is because marriage was created for perfect people. It was created before the fall, and therefore, the intent and purpose of marriage can only be perfectly fulfilled by perfect people. We can only perfectly reflect the image of Christ and the Church if we are perfect, because Christ is perfect, and He will make us perfect when He returns for us His bride. Marriage requires perfection,... read more