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Do Guys Have To Be Modest Too?

Do Guys Have To Be Modest Too?

A frequent objection I’ve heard raised when the topic of female immodesty arises is, “Well don’t guys need to be modest too?” This is a legitimate question; however, more often than not, this is only meant to be given as an argument for women to dress more immodestly, rather than a call for men to be more modest. In fact, we even have women participating in topless protests today. Men can take their shirts off? Women should be able to do so as well, right? Or so goes the reasoning of such protesters (if equality really is their true motive.)  – The argument that women should be able to be less modest because men are less modest strikes me as incredibly juvenile. It is children who often think, “Oh, my brother didn’t put his plate in the dishwasher, so I don’t have to put my plate in either.” –  I also find it insanely ironic that these Feminists are still letting men dictate what they do. Feminism is supposed to be about equality, and independence and empowerment for women…and yet it’s still, “Men do X. It’s considered improper for women to do X. That’s not fair. I want to be like men and do X too.” –  What others do should not dictate what we do, rather, we should do what is right and good for others.Young Keepers of The Home wrote a great article about this which I recommend you check out if you’re a girl. –  However, while it’s true that how guys dress should not dictate how girls dress, it is certainly true that the Bible... read more
Don’t Teach Girls To Be Modest; That Sexualizes Them

Don’t Teach Girls To Be Modest; That Sexualizes Them

–  A couple years ago, I wrote a series defending the belief that women and girls should dress modestly.  I thought that modesty was good because it was considerate of others, allowed women to be treated with more respect, and accented femininity. – But, according to opponents of humility in dress, modesty actually sexualizes girls.  – It’s always baffled me how some could make such arguments. Modesty is the exact opposite of objectifying! – On Facebook, some of my Christian, homeschooled, friends were sharing this article, (don’t waste your time reading it) which explains how modesty apparently sexualizes, specifically, through the banning of leggings and yoga pants in schools.  – There are several very poor arguments and assumptions made in this post which Christians should never buy into.  – Here are three of them. –  1. Your comfort is more important than the comfort of others: –  The article makes the point that the our own comfort is more important than the comfort of others. The article states that, “Girls clothing is not and should not be responsible for boys’ behavior.” This is a true statement, however, the article goes on to argue consideration of others should not be a factor in determining what to wear. I find it troubling that Christians are buying into this line of reasoning. –  Those who defend the wearing of yoga pants always claim that their reasons are solely based on comfort. While I highly doubt that’s the only reason for many woman, that is still not a good reason. –  We don’t have a right to do whatever we want if it harms... read more

Modesty: Are Women Responsible for the Thoughts of Men?

Nontie from A Victorious Woman of Faith, asked me to write a guest post responding to the below comment: “Why should a woman be responsible for the actions and or thoughts of men? Why can’t we as women be able to go on living our lives without being pegged as moral brigades for our “brothers”? Galatians 6:5 for each will have to bear his own load.” This is a common objection I’ve heard given in response to those who champion modesty, but is this a legitimate concern? Are women really supposed to be responsible for the thoughts of men? Short answer: No, of course not. We are responsible for what we allow our minds to dwell on. While I believe modesty greatly benefits those who practice it, and the others around them, in ways that go beyond merely protecting men from temptation, it is still the case that we are each responsible for our own actions. If a man sins due to immodest dress, that is his problem.  However, that does not mean the immodestly dressed woman is free from responsibility. Ideally, when a man encounters a woman dressed immodestly, his spiritual development will be to the point where giving into sin in that situation holds no allure. Rather than feeling temptation, perhaps instead the man will feel compassion toward the woman who has chosen to represent herself in a way that communicates disrespect to herself and others. A woman dressing immodestly is never an excuse for sin on the part of a man. Long answer: First all, the verse this particular commenter cited to defend her argument is... read more

Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 3)

(Part 3 of 3) Part 1, Part 2 Part 3: Modesty: Bringing Heaven to Earth    In part one of this three-part series on the topic of modesty, I explored several different arguments against modesty and showed how none of them stood up under scrutiny. In part 2, I focused on the positives of dressing modestly and the negatives of dressing immodestly, while describing how immodesty hurts men as well as women.  I also explained why women, even for purely selfish reasons, should want to dress modestly. To conclude the series, part three will explore the nature of modesty as, fundamentally, a matter of the heart.  Throughout the series, my purpose has been to provide a view on the particular problem of immodestly dressed women from the perspective of a young man.  We will return to focus on this particular problem, but first we must take a brief detour in an attempt to go deeper to the nature and source of the problem. When turning our thoughts toward the nature of modesty, it doesn’t take long before it becomes evident that immodesty isn’t just a problem for girls. It’s a universal issue for both genders that typically manifests itself differently in males and females and extends far deeper than external clothing.  The particular problem of immodesty among males is beyond the scope of this article, but suffice it to say, with regard to males, immodesty of dress tends toward an egotistic expression and attempt to garner admiration.  Now, when it comes to immodesty of dress in general, the most common and immediate defense comes as a particular application of the... read more
Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 2)

Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 2)

(Part 2 of 3) To read Part 1, click here. Part 3 Part 2:   Modesty: What Guys’ Think The weakness of the male has been known and well documented for thousands of years. Girls know they can attract guys by what they wear (or what they don’t wear). Yes, it’s true. It’s not a myth. However, the kind of attention girls attract by dressing immodestly is not the kind of attention they want to attract.   In our culture today, the average male wants to indulge in this weakness. He likes immodesty. In fact, he may even prefer women wear less. However, for the Christian man who is trying to live a God honoring life, immodesty can be a major obstacle. A Christian guy I know (guy A) described it well when he said, “Life is a battle over lust for men and boys. I only ask that you don’t give aide to the other side.” Sure, the responsibility is 100% on the guy not to stumble. He has the power to control himself. It’s no one’s fault but his own when he stumbles. But! It’s very frustrating when girls, especially his sisters in Christ, are aiding the side of Satan. You wouldn’t talk about cigarettes in front of a person who was trying to stop smoking, right? Many girls don’t even realize how difficult it is for guys. Like girl B said, “I think people (sometimes) overestimate the impact of immodesty vs. modesty. Because immodesty is normal. It’s what society is USED to, so much so that it almost becomes unnoticeable.” Yes, immodesty is normal. Does that mean it’s... read more
Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 1)

Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 1)

What’s the deal with Modesty? It doesn’t take a genius to realize that women are wearing less clothing than ever in our Western society. Is this good or bad? Is it freeing women and improving society? Or is it having the opposite effect? First off, what is modesty? It has become a “buzz” word today in our culture. “Modesty” has become synonymous with oppression, unattractiveness, judging, Legalism, and a host of other unpleasant words and ideas. But what does modesty really mean? Here are a couple definitions. the quality of being modest;  freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.   Just looking at those definitions, they look really good! Who wouldn’t say that a person should be free from vanity and boastfulness, and that a person should act decently in behavior, speech, and dress? No one would refute that those are good qualities to have, right?  So then why are so many men and women advocating immodest dress? Could it be that there is some benefit to wearing immodest clothing that we are not seeing? Or are there problems with modesty that go beyond the definition? What’s wrong with modesty? Here are few common objections I’ve heard.   Dress in whatever we “feel comfy” in?   One thing I hear often is that dressing modestly isn’t comfortable. For example, one girl (girl A) has told me, “I’ve always hated skirts and dresses as a child, because being forced into them so often, and I feel bad for girls that dress like Muslims because of it – though, I have met girls that prefer it. It depends... read more