“We men have been taught that, no matter how hard we try, we will never figure women out. It’s a lie!”
This book was so good I read it in two days. I would have read it in one day had not other activities been planned. I really like the way Eric Ludy writes his books and communicates in general. He combines a stirring, inspirational message, with solid Biblical understanding, and ties it all together with humorous examples from his own life.
What I liked about this book specifically, was it got to the very heart of the matter. This wasn’t a book of cheap tricks to manipulate women into liking you. Like classic Eric Ludy, he esteemed the hard and narrow path, and left the sugar coating off! However, as he is also so good at, Ludy paints a beautiful picture of the reward in store for those who do the hard things to obtain it.
Consistent with the Doug Wilson book I recently read on courtship (Her Hand In Marriage), the key to being “God’s gift to women” is a Covenant Life with Christ. Or as Wilson says, the qualities one needs for a godly marriage are the same qualities one needs for Christian life. If we really want to live the richest life possible and be a blessing to others, we must make love of God center in our lives, and everything that entails. Some may think this sounds oppressive, but it’s really not. The Self-centered life is what is actually oppressive, and Ludy very clearly points out this fact. Very inspiring!
What I also liked so much about the book was how much I could relate. There really is a “Brotherhood” as Ludy describes it, a “code” young men are subconsciously taught and expected to uphold in how we act, and relate to women which is far from good or right. I certainly have experienced the lies this “Brotherhood” encourages, and I definitely see and have seen how men are deceived by it’s twisted teaching. It really is from Satan as Ludy says. Sadly, very few men have broken free of this bondage, and our culture promotes it. “We men have adopted the concept that ‘not asking for directions’ is the essence of manliness, when it is actually the essence of stupidity.”
I really enjoyed how Ludy dug into what true manhood is, and how the culture has twisted our ideas of true masculinity. A true man isn’t just a big, dumb, dirty, inconsiderate brute. “Well you may be a tough guy, but that doesn’t make you a warrior. A guy can shrug off pain and deny his need for medical attention, though his leg has been all but amputated, and still be a true wimp. A man may be willing to fight, persevere, and endure pain; but a true wimp knows only how to fight, persevere, and endure pain for one thing: his self.” There is a much better way to live, “What would our manhood be like if we pursued Christ the way we have been trained to pursue the opposite sex? What would our manhood be like if we spent the same amount of time chasing down Truth as we do tinkering with our computers, cars, athletic skills, musical talents, or hunting rifles?”
Interestingly, Ludy also touches on how the church has failed to uphold it’s mission to teach and encourage great masculinity. “The Church was built by God in part to introduce us to great man-ness. But instead of being the “Factory for Great Manhood” it once was, the modern-day church has been twisted and warped into a machine that transforms eager and willing men into spineless spiritual wimps.” In large part, I think this is because as Ludy says, “[Some churches will say,] ‘We will never make you uncomfortable or make you feel like you have to change.’ But truth demands we change–that we bend our lives and experience around its reality. God offers no partial adherence…Oftentimes, the greatest threats to the Covenant [life in Christ] are in our own Christian backyard.”
“Today’s young men don’t need another sermon. We don’t need another word of advice. We don’t need another book telling us what we, as men, should be. We need the Life of our King. And we need His life to consume our own.”
Again, if you’e looking for a book about, “Ten Weird Ways To Get Women To Fall In Love With You,” this is not the book for you. This book really is a lot more about what true, Biblical manhood is. This is because true manhood, the way God intended it, IS itself a gift to women. (And all the Feminists in the room cry “sexism.”) The key to becoming God’s gift to women is the same key to what it takes to be a great man–becoming like Christ, and not settling for all the low standards our culture has set for men. “God did love me just as I was. But He loved me too much to leave me as I was.”
This book is an easy 5-star. Every man should read it, regardless of whether or not he intends to marry.