I Am A Sexist

My recent post describing the reasons why I don’t participate in ballroom dancing seems to have upset a lot of people. In fact, I was even called a legalist and a sexist. Someone needs to stop me because I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to hug or dance with girls outside my family. I’m dangerous. Yes, because I don’t feel like I have a right to touch and hold the bodies of girls and women, I must be a sexist.

Then I realized my scoffers are right. In today’s modern society, I am a sexist.

Being a sexist used to mean you believed one gender was superior to the other. This is now called “hostile sexism”. It’s pretty obvious to everyone today (except radical Feminists) that both genders are equal in value. The Bible confirms this in Genesis 1:27,

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Clearly, both men and women are created in the image of God. Both men and women reflect God’s character, so they are equal in value.

So I’m not a sexist, right? I believe men and women are equal in worth.

Today, you are also a sexist if you believe men and women are different, or that men and women should treat each other differently than members of their own gender. Many refer to this kind of “sexism” as “Benevolent sexism.” If that sounds confusing , just think “Chivalry.” Chivalry is considered benevolent sexism today.“As it turns out, men and women are equally prone to holding benevolently sexist values (the idea that men should always open doors, or earn enough to support a woman, are two common examples).” – Prevention.com

In this case, I am guilty as charged. Why? Because biology and the Bible says so.


Biology is sexist—that is to say—Biology demonstrates that men and women are different, and have a different set of strengths and weaknesses. This truth is pretty evident to everyone who hasn’t been brainwashed by the Feminist agenda. More often than not, men and women are mirror opposites.
There are a lot of small differences between men and women, such as spatial awareness and ability to detect colors.1 Then there are also much larger differences, such as organs and biochemical composition. Men and women are different physically, behaviorally, and mentally. We are different even down to our very genes: “The data also suggests that the female genome now differs from the male genome in at least four ways.” – Science Daily
Yet, despite how obviously different men and women are, it is not popular to state this fact in our culture today.Instead, our culture wants to make the claim that boys and girls are basically the same, but our society alters and pressures them into conforming to gender stereotypes. This is a flat out lie that has been debunked many times. In our culture’s attempt to neuter humanity, we have rejected science.

“Across age groups, species and nations, males tend to be better at various spatial skills…Females, on the other hand, tend to have more verbal fluency and greater memory for objects.”2 – Livescience.com

I cannot deny science, and science clearly shows that men and women are different. Certainly, individuals will fall at different places along a spectrum, but in general, men and women are different in many ways. Call me a sexist if you want, but your problem is with science, not with me.


The Bible is sexist—or rather—the Bible asserts that men and women are different, and were created differently.
Genesis 2:18, “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”
Adam was created from dust, and Eve was created from Adam’s rib. Each was also created for different purposes. Eve was created to be Adam’s helper, (or “help meet” as NKJ translates) not the other way around (1 Corinthians 11:9).
Of course, definitions are important. What does it mean to be a “helper”?
Personally, I don’t like the term “help meet.” It sounds like it’s downplaying the wife’s role when that’s not actually what the phrase doing. The Hebrew words which are translated into the phrase “Help meet for him” are “ezer kenegdo.”
“Ezer” means “to help,”3  However, this word is most frequently used in the Bible to refer to the help that God gives to mankind.
Some examples:
Psalm 33:20, “Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.” Ezer is being translated into “help” in this verse. Same with the two below verses.
Deuteronomy 33:7, “And this regarding Judah; so he said, “Hear, O LORD, the voice of Judah, And bring him to his people. With his hands he contended for them, And may You be a help against his adversaries.”
Exodus 18:4, “The other was named Eliezer, for he said, “The God of my father was my help, and delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.”
Therefore, when the Bible says God created Eve to be a “helper” it’s not at all saying Adam is her superior. She is an equal counterpart meant to mirror him and support him. She is not “just a helper,” but one who provides aid which the man cannot provide for himself, just as God gives us aid which we cannot provide for ourselves. (of course this “helper” aspect only applies to the marriage relationship).
“Kenegdo” has been translated to mean, “corresponding to,” or “opposite of.” This is exactly what we see. Men and women are opposites which together reflect the full image of God.
I think that’s a beautiful picture of the relationship between men and women, but not everyone thinks so.Today, the very idea that men and women are different is under attack (even by Christians). No one wants you to reveal the obvious truth, so whenever someone suggests that men and women are different, and should treat each other differently, they immediately get labeled a sexist.

You think men and women are different? What is wrong with you? You SEXIST PIG! 
Yes, I am a sexist. I am a sexist because the Bible is sexist, because the Bible dares to claim that men and women are different, and that God created them for different purposes and gave them different talents.

I’m a sexist because I think men should treat women with the respect that ladies deserve.
I am a sexist because I believe men should lay down their lives and sacrifice for women.
I am a sexist because I believe out of respect, it should be the man, not the woman, who should be the first to suffer.
And yet, I’m not sure that I am sexist enough. I still have a lot of improving to do in the area of learning how to treat women differently, and seeing them as having greater importance than myself (which is how I should see all people). Being chivalrous isn’t instinctive to me yet.
So I’m going to continue to strive to be a “benevolent sexist.” I’m going to view women as having more value than men because that’s the way I believe men are supposed to view women. If I were to have the option of saving a man or a woman, I should choose the woman.The call used to be “women and children first.” When the Titanic sunk, the men stayed behind and sacrificed themselves for the sake of the women and children. When lives were on the line, the lives of women and children were seen as being worth more, and that’s the way it should be. Again, I believe both men and woman have equal value under God, but it is the job of men to sacrifice for and die for women and children if need be. This is a concept I need to get better at following and implementing. True, I may not be on a sinking ship, but there are many small ways to act out this concept in every day life.

I need to get better at opening doors for women, offering to carry things for them, letting women go before me, etc. I believe I should do these things not because women don’t know how or aren’t strong enough, not because I want to get something out of them, but because they deserve it, and it trains my mind to see women as having incredible worth and value. In a culture that so often treats women like cheap objects, I believe we need chivalry to help combat such lies. We need “benevolent sexism.”
Chivalry doesn’t degrade women, it treats them like royalty.Chivalry is not men seeing themselves as superior to women; it’s just the opposite. Chivalry is men serving women, and looking out for their best interests. This is how men are supposed to treat women.
Clearly, I am a sexist, and I plan to continue to strive to see women as greater than myself. I have a lot of improving to do in this area, and I hope that I will continue to grow more “sexist” as I grow in Christ.



  1. Wow!!!!!!!!! Great Post – if being sexist means chivalry then I support you all the way. May the good Lord continue to bless and guide you as you strive to be like him.

    Oh, to be like Christ!

  2. Wonderful post! Thanks for standing up and being the man God wants you to be!

  3. Do you believe in equal employment opportunities for men and women and equal pay for comparable work regardless of gender?

  4. What do you mean by “equal employment opportunities?” I want to say yes, and yet, I don't believe women should fight on the front-lines of battle for example. And I definitely believe pay should be equal for the same amount of work.

    This post wasn't about going into the realities and myths or true sexism, but pointing out how in our culture today, even the idea that men and women are different, and should be different, is considered sexism, and I believe that's wrong.

  5. Glad you liked it! Thanks for the support and encouragement!

  6. Thanks! Yeah, it's sad that even chivalry is considered “oppressive” to women now.

    Thanks for the encouragement!

  7. I really wish there were more sexists like you. I have two daughters and they are being raised in a culture that lies to them about men and women: even admitting that men are physically stronger is a no-no. How dangerous is a society that sets men up as competition for women rather than protectors and providers. I'm finding that raising daughters in this culture amounts to damage control. I have to un-teach them everything they are being told about the genders. I have no idea how they are going to find a husband with the things they are learning from me – ie. if you're on a date you shouldn't touch a door. Thank goodness they only need one. Encouraging read.

  8. Absolutely. My husband is gloriously, Biblically, sexist – and we are raising our boys to be the same.

  9. This is so well said! How do you view English country dance where 10-14 yo children (who have learned) are included, the dances are specifically chosen to be lively enough, there is no embracing or touching other than the hands, and the girls are required to wear gloves so it is not uncomfortable or too familiar? We hold 2 a year and one of our young men gives a 'talk' about honor and how young men should look for someone who is not dancing so all are included. It is a wonderful, winsome way to teach chivalry, courtliness, and being at ease in mixed company, and we (young and old) have great exercise and lots of laughter! We ask that everyone has a new partner for each dance so there is no pairing up. Staying away from the P&P stuff which is too romantic for us. I understand you are not writing form a legalistic viewpoint, so this is refreshing. Thank you.

  10. This is so blatantly sexist. You probably hate babies and puppies to. Mr. Garner will deal with you. >:-(

  11. Those dances sound much different from what I experienced, so I can't imagine I would have anything against that kind of dancing, other than the face I'm just not a dancer. Haha! But I really like that idea of using that context to teach chivalry!

    Thank you very much for sharing about this version of dancing. And also thank you for understanding that I am not trying to be legalistic by sharing my personal convictions. That is also very refreshing!

  12. I have confidence that the Garner will set me straight. By the way, the violence of your picture is very offensive. >_< Every time someone looks at it, somewhere in the world, an endangered species dies.

  13. If your family would like to come to one of our dances, we love to have you. We hold the dances in April and October. This is an example of what you might find and most of us dress the period for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfddpfOLkns No one is exacting and it is all pretty laid back. We have to 'think on our feet' as we do new dances and actually get quite winded. none of us are expert lol We all bring food and have dinner at mid-way. Your whole family is welcome, and we have a bunch that come from out of town making for lots of friends from all over. Modesty is carefully observed by all. If you are interested, friend me at Jacque Line and I'll remember. Please tell you Mum 'Hello' for me 🙂 Blessings!

  14. By equal employment opportunities I mean that a person is not discriminated against by a prospective employer based on their gender.

    Chivalry has nothing to do with sexism. I would expect you to open a door for me but I would open it for you also. That is called good manners.

    There are millions of girls around the world denied an education, a career and an independent income because they are female. Of course there are biological differences between men and women but when these differences are used to keep people in a certain role or used to discriminate then that is sexism.

    You can't try to be controversial and call your post “I am a sexist” and then claim it is not about “true” sexism.

  15. This was truly awesome! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Reagan.

    In Christ alone,

    The eldest sister & singer

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *