Purity

!Adsense

Sponsors

Coastal Conservatory Lilla Rose Beautiful Life

Archives

Don’t Worry; I Won’t Touch Your Daughter

Don’t Worry; I Won’t Touch Your Daughter

I wrote another guest post over at The Long Way To Go! Consider it an update/conglomeration of my hugging articles. – Hello, my name is Reagan Ramm, and I don’t hug girls. I know, I know. I’m a terrible person. You see, this because I a morbid and irrational fear of touches or being touched. I am a socially awkward and damaged person who needs help getting over the trauma of my past to be able to touch and be touched again… Umm…no. Not exactly. Contrary to what some believe, I do not refrain from hugging the opposite sex because I have Aphenphosmphobia, or because I am a cold-hearted person. Within some Christian circles, physical touch is very common. I, and many others like me, are not so comfortable with this, and here are a few healthy reasons why.   Click here to read... read more
How To Guard Your Heart

How To Guard Your Heart

Hello dear readers! I had the honor of being asked by the Long family to write a guest post for their blog, The Long Way To Go, this week on the subject of how to guard your heart. Below is a portion of the article, but make sure to go to their site to read the rest! “Guard your heart!” I’m sure you have heard this phrase before, and you might also have found that it is easier said than done. How exactly are you supposed to guard your heart? Disclaimer: I am writing this article under the assumption that you desire emotional purity, and to save not only your body, but also your heart for your future spouse. If you don’t believe in emotional purity, this article might not make much sense to you. However, if you do desire to save yourself, then it is my desire that this article help you to obtain that goal. The concept of “guarding your heart” comes from Proverbs 4:23-27, which states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” This passage is telling us to pay close attention to the inner core of who we are as people. We are to carefully consider our thoughts, desires, and emotions—our heart—as our heart... read more
How To Stay Emotionally Pure In Courtship

How To Stay Emotionally Pure In Courtship

Okay, so you’ve been pure and now you are courting. What role does spiritual purity play in courtship? Most would agree you should still be physically pure, but should you still strive to be spiritually pure? I say, yes! This is because there is still a chance a courtship will not end in marriage, and should that happen, you still want to be free of baggage. – Whether or not you seek emotional intimacy in courtship, of course, depends heavily on your definition of courtship. When I refer to courtship, I am talking about a time to evaluate whether or not two people would make a good match for marriage; however, there shouldn’t be any pressure or expectation that the courtship MUST end in marriage. Even in a courtship, you should seek to remain faithful to your future spouse. Courtship is discovering whether or not you have found your future spouse. Maybe you have found them, maybe you haven’t. Since there is a chance you haven’t, you can’t jump all in yet.  Your heart shouldn’t be set on the presumption that you will marry this person, because the courtship could be stopped prior to marriage. You must still seek to be spiritually pure for your future spouse. If a courtship does not end in marriage, but those courting have both acted with purity, then the courtship is still a success.  – That being said, it’s ideal to only have to court one person, so you still only want to court someone you strongly believe you should marry. But, you could still be wrong, so don’t think just because you... read more
Why I No Longer Talk Privately to Girls Online

Why I No Longer Talk Privately to Girls Online

With my series on “emotional” purity drawing to a close, I think it would be helpful to talk about some practical solutions to maintaining emotional purity. Part 3 of this series—a guest post by Emily Long—I think provided some good tips, but I’d like to go a little bit more in depth, and also provide a couple of my own tips.  – I find it sad that many of the arguments I’ve seen leveled against Emily’s post from a couple weeks ago are arguments that I used to make myself. Yes! The beliefs held by many of these critics were beliefs I used to hold; however, it took several difficult experiences for me to finally realize the danger of communicating privately online with the opposite gender, and not striving to be emotionally pure.  – However, these experiences aren’t unique to me. In fact, I know a guy who has very similar experiences. I will call him Sam, and he has given me permission to use his story for this post.  – Sam had had very little interaction with girls until he joined an online forum full of other homeschooling Christians.  The forum happened to have a girl:guy ratio of 5:1, so by default, most of his friends were female. In the past, Sam had been rather standoffish toward girls, and he regretted that. The Bible spoke of treating each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, so that’s what he would try and do on this forum. –  Because of the similarities he shared with so many on that forum, he developed some very close friendships. He became very... read more
Is Purity Finite? – Purity Part 6

Is Purity Finite? – Purity Part 6

Part 1: What Are Your Thoughts? Part 2: What Is Emotional Purity?  Part 3: The Struggle for Emotional Purity Part 4: Is Emotional Purity Harmful? Part 5: Is Emotional Purity Biblical? – Hold this bucket of water. It’s filled with your “purity”. Every time some water accidentally sloshes out, or you intentionally take some out, you can never get it back. Every bit of water you lose out of your bucket is purity that can never be reclaimed. You have a finite amount of water. I think this is how some people view purity, even those who have rejected the notion of being pure all together.  – Often, we see purity portrayed as being finite. We all start out at full health, and as we go through life, whatever amount we lose, can never be reclaimed. There are no purity gas stations to refill. Every little bit of purity you lose from your bucket makes you just that much less pure. –  Of course, this doesn’t just apply to the issue of impurity, but to many areas of sin. We feel that we all start out good and innocent, and as our sins accumulate, we become less and less capable and deserving of the good life God has in mind for us. Indeed, we soon can begin to believe that we don’t deserve anything good, or that we have “messed up” too many times to be redeemable. This is a lie that Satan plants in our heads, not God. – I’ve talked a lot about the goodness of purity throughout this series, but what if you haven’t always been... read more
Is Emotional Purity Biblical? – Purity Part 5

Is Emotional Purity Biblical? – Purity Part 5

So far in this series, I have introduced the topic of “emotional purity”, defined what it is, we’ve looked at emotional purity from a girl’s perspective, and I have shown how many of the common arguments against emotional purity are poor or inaccurate. Now I’m going to address emotional purity from a purely Biblical perspective. Is emotional purity biblical? –  Emotional purity is frequently vilified (even by many Christians) and I find this pretty sad. Why would you want to turn down something so good? God created us to be pure, and He knows what is best for us, which is why there are so many verses and passages in the Bible instructing us to be pure. It’s for our good and the good of others. –  There seem to be many Christians who think that the idea of emotional purity is not Biblical, and that physical purity is all that matters (and there is a spectrum of belief along that front as well).  I disagree. There are many passages in the Bible that make a distinction from physical purity and purity of the heart.  – For example, Colossians 3:5, – “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”  – Sexual immorality is distinguished from “impurity.” They apparently aren’t the same thing…or maybe Paul is being redundant? Redundancy doesn’t seem to be the answer, since this same language comes up multiple times.  – Ephesians 5:5, –  “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is,... read more
Is Emotional Purity Harmful? – Purity Part 4

Is Emotional Purity Harmful? – Purity Part 4

Part 1 – Emotional Purity: What Are Your Thoughts? Part 2 – What is Emotional Purity? Part 3 – The Struggle For Emotional Purity: A Guest Post By Emily Long – “All the broken hearts in the world still beat/Let’s not make it harder than it has to be/Ohh, it’s all the same thing/Girls chase boys chase girls” – Ingrid Michaelson –  I think many people take the approach Ingrid Michaelson does in her song, “Girls Chase Boys.” What’s the big deal with emotional purity? All the broken hearts in the world still beat, let’s not make it harder than it has to be. That makes sense, right?  Emotional purity just over complicates things.– Others would go on to say that there are serious problems with the idea of emotional purity. Some mock emotional purity as unrealistic or a fantasy. “Surely emotional purity isn’t even possible in this day and age.” Others claim it is downright harmful, while still more insist that to have emotional purity you must “invent a sin” such as this article argues. –  Do these critics have a point? –  While I believe that—like all good things—the concept of emotional purity can be twisted or abused, we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. The idea that we are to be pure in more than just our physical actions is good, Biblical, and very possible to maintain. As I said in part 2 of this series, I believe “emotional purity” is an unfortunate term to use, since people infer it is all about controlling emotions, when it’s actually about directing our thoughts, and being wise with... read more
The Struggle For Emotional Purity: Guest Post – Purity Part 3

The Struggle For Emotional Purity: Guest Post – Purity Part 3

Part 1 – Emotional Purity: What Are Your Thoughts? Part 2 – What is Emotional Purity?–When emotional purity is discussed, I find it interesting that the focus is always on ourselves. We consider whether or not a given situation would be beneficial or detrimental to us. I think this is a very poor way of looking at the topic of emotional purity. –  I hardly hear anyone talk about looking out for the best interests of others. I believe that we should be seeking to help one another, and as men, we should especially seek what is best for women.  – Speaking to young men, rather than merely considering whether or not a given situation or interaction might harm us, we should instead consider how it might negatively impact a young woman. For example, perhaps a hug or communicating deeply in private would hold no emotional sway over you, but it might for the young woman. –  Instead of trying to communicate myself how, in general, women are different from men when it comes to the area of emotional vulnerability, I decided to seek help from those who would know better than I what it’s like to be a woman. A friend of mine, Emily Long, was gracious enough to write me a letter detailing the struggle for emotional purity from a young woman’s perspective, and it is copied below. I hope you find it as enlightening as I did: *** – Dear Reagan, – You have asked for my opinion on the issue of emotional purity. I would like to do just that by illustrating it a little. –          ... read more
What Is “Emotional Purity”? – Purity Part 2

What Is “Emotional Purity”? – Purity Part 2

Click here for part 1 – So before we can say whether or not emotional purity is good or bad, we first have to know what we’re talking about. What is emotional purity? Where did it come from? –  I did a lot of research on the origins of the term “emotional purity,” and my research suggested that the term is actually fairly new. The vast majority of articles I found discussing emotional purity portrayed it in a negative light. It seems there are very few people who think emotional purity is a good thing. – After reading so many negative articles, it has caused me to rethink the whole issue quite a bit, and it has led me to conclude two things.  – “Emotional Purity” is an unfortunate term. “Spiritual Purity” would be a better term to use. – Spiritual Purity is—in fact—Biblical. – Before I get to how I arrived at those conclusions, what is “emotional purity”? Most people just assume everyone already knows what it is, but based on how I’ve seen some people talk about emotional purity, it is clear they are talking about something completely different than what I have come to understand as “emotional purity.” –  Some have the idea that emotional purity means suppressing any feelings of attraction for someone. Shutting down emotions. – Others describe emotional purity as “saving your heart” for the person you eventually marry. –  And still others believe that emotional purity is rooted in fear, and simply a means to cope with the fear of getting hurt, a fear of “loving and losing.” –  I think the... read more
Emotional Purity: Part 1

Emotional Purity: Part 1

I’ve come across a couple different articles recently which challenge the idea of emotional purity. I even saw one saying that saving your virginity for marriage is a bad idea too—posted on Facebook by a homeschooled Christian. These opponents of emotional purity usually point to Joshua Harris and the Ludy’s as being the culprits behind this harmful idea. – I find it interesting that most of the people I see criticizing the idea of emotional purity are homeschooled Christians who grew up in the so-called “purity movement.” I did not grow up in this movement, so perhaps what they experienced was harmful. –  Growing up, I hardly knew any other homeschoolers. I didn’t go to a church youth group and was not immersed in the “purity culture.” The people I was around were public schoolers who didn’t care about purity. In fact, they cared very deeply about the opposite. For many of my peers, trying to date and be physically intimate with the best looking girls was a big priority for them. –  I never had any desire to date or participate in that culture for a couple of reasons. –  First of all, my parents made it clear that my siblings and I would not date. I didn’t really consider why, but I didn’t care because I wasn’t interested in girls or relationships or marriage or anything up through middle school and into high school. –  Second, my peers would talk about girls like they were pieces of meat to be consumed. The sheer selfishness was unbelievable, and not something I wanted to participate in. I remember walking... read more