Modesty: A Guy’s Opinion (Part 1)

What’s the deal with Modesty?

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that women are wearing less clothing than ever in our Western society. Is this good or bad? Is it freeing women and improving society? Or is it having the opposite effect?Modesty A Guy's Opinion Part 1

First off, what is modesty? It has become a “buzz” word today in our culture. “Modesty” has become synonymous with oppression, unattractiveness, judging, Legalism, and a host of other unpleasant words and ideas. But what does modesty really mean? Here are a couple definitions.

  1. the quality of being modest;  freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
  2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

 

Just looking at those definitions, they look really good! Who wouldn’t say that a person should be free from vanity and boastfulness, and that a person should act decently in behavior, speech, and dress? No one would refute that those are good qualities to have, right?  So then why are so many men and women advocating immodest dress?

Could it be that there is some benefit to wearing immodest clothing that we are not seeing? Or are there problems with modesty that go beyond the definition? What’s wrong with modesty? Here are few common objections I’ve heard.

 

Dress in whatever we “feel comfy” in?

 

One thing I hear often is that dressing modestly isn’t comfortable. For example, one girl (girl A) has told me, “I’ve always hated skirts and dresses as a child, because being forced into them so often, and I feel bad for girls that dress like Muslims because of it – though, I have met girls that prefer it. It depends on your mind set – wear what you feel comfy in!”

I don’t know what gave her the impression that a girl has to dress like a Muslim to be modest, but does she have a point? Should comfort be the number one factor in what we wear?

That’s a very relative statement. What’s comfortable for one person may not be for another. What if someone feels most comfortable going naked? Should they because it’s comfortable? I think almost everyone would agree absolutely not. Why? Because it’s not respectful to others.

I very much dislike waiting in long lines. It’s very uncomfortable. Should I just start cutting to the front of lines from now on? No, because that’s not respectful to all the other people waiting in line. I have to sacrifice my comfort to respect others. Can you imagine if everyone just ran around looking out for their own comfort, disregarding others? A frightening thought, don’t you think?

So if our comfort will slight other people, then we should forgo it in consideration of others. But is dressing modestly so uncomfortable? Are wearing jeans that are less than skin-tight really that unpleasant? Are shorts longer than underwear really that unbearable? And what’s so uncomfortable about skirts? I’ve never worn one, so I can’t say, however, my two younger sisters say skirts are much more comfortable than pants. I have a guy friend who won’t even wear jeans because he says they’re uncomfortable. So I don’t think anyone can say skin-tight jeans are more comfortable than skirts. Now, I know a girl who has said that she only wears cleavage exposing shirts because anything higher is uncomfortable. *blink* Really? I almost exclusively wear crew neck shirts, and they are not uncomfortable at all. I think V-necks are actually less-comfortable. But I’m not a girl, so what do I know?

There are many ways to dress modestly. Comfort shouldn’t be an issue.

Immodesty is unnoticeable?

Another girl (girl B) has said this about Modesty, “I don’t consider myself immodest, but I think some [people] would. And, frankly, I don’t care what [other people] think in this regard because I dress in ONLY what I would feel comfortable wearing in front of a good guy friend. In a way…I think people (sometimes) overestimate the impact of immodesty vs. modesty. Because immodesty is normal. It’s what society is USED to, so much so that it almost becomes unnoticeable.”

Here, the focus is again on the self. It’s on us. What we feel. However, we’re supposed to be considerate of others in everything that we do. God freed us from our selfishness–why? So we could go right back to being selfish? No! He didn’t free us so we could go back to being slaves. He freed us so that we would have the strength to serve others. Before, we were enslaved by our selfishness. We couldn’t help but be selfish. Now that we are free, why should we go back?

If my expression of liberty causes someone else to stumble, I give up my privilege to take that liberty. If my freedom causes me to infringe on another person’s freedom, I don’t have that right. We are not free to do evil. God has freed us to do good, not to do evil. We are to leverage liberty lovingly. That means we shouldn’t just steamroll through other people. We can’t just say, “I don’t care what you think! This is what I want!” As Christians, we need to be respectful and considerate of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Also, girl B’s claim that the impact of immodesty vs. modesty is overblown, and that it is unnoticeable because it is normal does not hold water. Immodesty is VERY noticeable. If it wasn’t, then why are scantily clad woman so often used in the commercial world to sell products? BECAUSE IT WORKS! Businesses want to sell their product or service. They would stop using immodesty to market themselves if it had become unnoticeable and wasn’t working. (More on this in Part 2)

So, we’ve established that wearing immodest clothes because they are more comfortable isn’t a good reason. Wearing just what pleases us has also proven to be a bad reason. However, there has to be some real problems with modesty, right? I mean, Modesty is bad. If it wasn’t bad, then why are so many people against it?

Dressing modestly = fashion disaster? 

Well, one girl (girl C) brought up this issue, “I think dressing modestly is a good thing, but some people take it too far and it’s a living hell to be the home-schooled fashion disaster, so would I push some limits? Probably. But I do believe in saving yourself for your husband, but I’d prefer to at least look decent while doing it. My wardrobe is jeans and graphic t’s – I have a lazy and neutral fashion style and don’t care because it’s my choice.”

Okay, she has a couple arguments here, the main one being that dressing modestly is ugly, a “fashion disaster.” Her other argument is that we have a right to choose what we wear. Let’s start with analyzing the former argument against modesty.

Is dressing modest ugly? And what about fashion? Is it good to be fashionable? Fashion is different from beauty. Beauty is a good thing. Beauty is of the kingdom of heaven. But fashion is not. Fashion is like the wind: it blows one way, and then the other. Fashion is just what is “in.” It doesn’t have to look good or be objectively beautiful, it just has to be popular. Christians shouldn’t strive to be fashionable, but objectively beautiful while maintaining Modesty. Now, that doesn’t mean fashion and beauty can’t overlap, but being fashionable just to be fashionable is not a good idea.

How about girl C’s second argument? Do we have a right to choose what we wear? Is it our choice? Do we have a right to “express ourselves” as we see fit? Yes and no.

Like I said above, God has freed us. He has freed us to do what? To do good! Not evil! So we are free to do whatever we want, wear whatever we want, so long as it’s good. God WANTS to be able to let us do whatever we WANT. The problem is, what we want is often bad. Our will has to be transformed to His will before we can just do whatever we want. Well what does this mean for modesty?

Our bodies are not our own. First of all, they belong to God. He bought us with a price which was the blood of Jesus Christ His only begotten Son.  “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16). Second of all, our bodies belong to our future spouses. They are to be gifts to them.

So is it, “Our bodies. Our choice?” Now that sounds like an argument right from the mouth of an abortionist. We do NOT have the choice to wear what we want if what we want to wear is sinful. Our bodies are sacred. They are temples. By dressing immodestly we profane God’s temple and give away the gift of our bodies to people that are not our spouses.

Modest dress is oppressive?

Yet modesty has other problems, right? Girl D says, “If you live in the US, you have the freedom to express your religion. If that means that you wear a scarf on your head (that to me signifies oppression) then do it.”

Now, I don’t believe you have to wear a scarf on your head to be modest, but many people believe that men telling woman what to wear is oppressive. This is ridiculous. That’s like if a girl was about to walk off the edge of a cliff, and I told her to stop and she accused me of oppressing her.

“No!” she yells. “It’s my right! I can do what I want and express myself how I want, and no one can tell me what to do!” So…she walks off.

Now, some of you are probably saying, “That’s different! Walking off a cliff isn’t the same as being ‘immodest!’”

I beg to differ. It’s a cliff whether you realize it or not. (More on this in Part 2).

But hey, I’m flexible. Let’s entertain the notion that telling a girl what to wear is oppressive. If this is true, then we would have to say that all of popular culture is oppressing women! That’s right. Turn on the television, open a magazine, surf the internet…what do you see? The culture telling women and girls how to dress. Hollywood says, “if you don’t look like these movie stars, you have no value.” Magazines say, “If you don’t wear this outfit, you aren’t beautiful.” And the internet says, “If you don’t look and act like these woman, no one will like you.” The culture has been telling women how to look and act for a very, very long time. The culture has been pushing, tempting, and encouraging girls to walk closer to the cliff for decades, and millions of girls have bought in, and they’ve been throwing themselves off the edge in droves. Mass suicide at the urging of popular culture. Sort of makes pop culture sound like a cult doesn’t it?

So by the line of reasoning that men are oppressing women by telling them what to wear…then that must mean the culture is murdering them.    

Comfort is not a good reason to be immodest because elevating our comfort over the liberty of others is wrong, and modest clothes are comfortable anyway. And if they aren’t comfortable, maybe you just need to get used to it. Wearing just what pleases us is selfish, and therefore a no-go. That doesn’t mean we can’t like what we wear. On the contrary, we should like what we wear, but what we like to wear shouldn’t slight other people and God. Modest clothing can be very attractive, and therefore, the argument that modest dress is ugly doesn’t hold, and being a “fashion disaster” isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Our bodies are not our own, so we can’t just choose whatever we want to wear. Also, being told to be Modest isn’t any more oppressive than being told to be humble, or to take out the trash (okay, I take that back. Being told to take out the trash is pretty oppressive). Just because someone tells you to do something, doesn’t make it oppressive by default.

Right now, I’m not seeing any good reasons not to be Modest. It seems like there is nothing wrong with Modesty. But are there good reasons to be Modest? (Other than dogmatically following what “oppressive” people say?) Well, let’s look at Modesty from the male perspective next.

 

(Part 2: Modesty: What Guys’ Think)

 

47 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for calling pop CULTure a cult. I have been waiting to hear someone say that for ages.
    And this is a very well-thought out and well-written essay here. can’t wait for Part 2. ^_^

  2. Haha! Well it definitely is isn’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed it! And thanks for commenting. 🙂

  3. Thanks for posting this, Reagan. I’m sure it took a lot of guts to address this issue. Even with all the popular Christians who are writing about modesty it is still very important for us girls to realize that guys our age actually care about how we dress.

  4. I’m glad you liked it. I hope it serves as a good reminder and encouragement to keep going strong. 🙂

  5. The long awaited Modesty post! It was absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for writing this. It’s so encouraging to read something on modesty by someone you know than just some random famous Christian who wrote about it–it enforces more that guys actually care and it affects them. I can’t wait for Part 2.

    (Erin and Kathleen look absolutely beautiful in those two pictures :))

  6. Yes, very long awaited. Haha! What? I’m not famous? But I have a blog! (JK) Yeah, and part 2 delves more into how it affects guys, and why girls really don’t want to be immodest.

    (They do don’t they? :))

  7. *nods* Oh, come on. I meant like Alex and Brett Harris. 😛 Really? I’m really excited for that one now!!

    (Yep. :))

  8. Good post, Reagan. And great point about the culture telling people what to wear, etc. It’s crazy that some people don’t realize that!

  9. You have very good points. I find it very interesting to read this from a man’s point of view. Personally I prefer ankle long skirts, with a nice buttoned up blouse,over everything in my wardrobe. People are really watching me when I wear this and I ,sometimes, feel a bit strange and odd. But I know in my heart I am doing the right thing.

  10. That’s great that you prefer that! My 11-year-old sister also very much enjoys wearing ankle length skirts and buttoned up blouses. Not that you absolutely have to wear those to be modest, but it does send a message, and shows that you are honoring God rather than the world.

  11. Yeah, perhaps because it’s so wide spread people don’t think they have a choice to do anything else sometimes.

  12. Thanks for stopping by my blog, Reagan! This is a very interesting post. I look forward to reading part two!

  13. Agree with all you said, I just disagree that only skirts are modest. 🙂

    ~AO

  14. Well I agree with you! 😛 I don’t think I ever said “only skirts are modest.” I don’t believe that.

    In fact, in part 2 I say this, “Pants are fine, they just can’t be too tight. Shorts are fine, they just have to reach the knees.”

    So I agree that you don’t have to wear only skirts to be modest. In fact, often pants or shorts can be more modest than skirts, depending on what activities you’re doing.

    So we don’t disagree it sounds like. 🙂

  15. Pants can be modest too. Sometimes I prefer pants because they are ‘easier’ to wear with some activities. But I never wear jeans. I think you call them slacks or pleats (English is not my mother tongue). Looking forward to part 2.

  16. Yes, I completely agree with you. Pants are definitely better for certain activities.

  17. Thanks for the great post!! I really enjoyed reading it. Can’t wait for part 2! And as a side note to the above comments, culottes are a great way to be modest in certain activities! I haven’t yet found one thing I couldn’t do in a skirt/culottes…thanks for the great article! Blessings, Miranda

  18. Great thoughts. Very interesting to read. ^_^

    I have to say I do disagree with one main thing. You seemed to be saying that there is a set line between “modest” and “immodest” clothing? Personally. I wear shorter shorts than mid-thigh and I do not believe they’re immodest. I mean, the Bible doesn’t give us a list that says above knee length shorts and two piece swimsuits are immodest. To say that strikes me as legalistic… What are your thoughts?

    Love the blog by the way.

    EW.

  19. I don’t think there is a set line between “modest” and “immodest” there is definitely some gray area. I tried not to set too many hard fast rules. I said shorts need to go down to the knee, because the word “knee” can be taken a lot of different ways. Some say the bottom of the thigh is the top of the knee. So I said that because once you start going higher than the bottom of the knee, things start getting immodest. So maybe you don’t think those shorts are immodest, but you are also not a guy, and I would probably have to say those are immodest. I encourage you to read part 2. It goes into more of the “why” you should be modest. Maybe it will explain somethings. 🙂

    The Bible doesn’t give a list of specifics, but it does say that women should dress modestly. And dressing modesty means not drawing attention to ourselves, but to God. When you wear shorts that short, you are exposing quite a bit, plus, it’s also drawing attention to a certain region of the body. That can make people uncomfortable, and is not modest.

    Legalism is saying that you have to do works in order to be saved. I’m not saying you’re going to burn in Hell if you dress a certain way, far from it. However, what we wear, and everything we do, matters. There is a right way to do something, and a wrong way. Wearing such short shorts are not good for you, they are not good for others, and they don’t honor God.

    I’m sorry if I sound harsh. I’m not trying to attack you personally, or “judge” you. It’s like if I saw someone about to drink poison. I would tell them to stop, I wouldn’t just let them drink it. So I’m not trying to impose strict legalistic rules by saying this or that is modest or immodest. I seriously believe immodesty is a poison, bad for the one who practices it, and bad for the people that have to be in the presence of it.

    Thanks for your comment. 🙂

  20. But if you say once shorts are higher than the knee, they’re immodest, isn’t that a line? 😉 Awesome, I’ll check it out!

    But if you dress too far in the other direction, I’d say you draw more attention to yourself than if you dressed in shorts and t-shirts. I wouldn’t wear something immodest.

    On another note, from reading the verses on modesty, it sounded like modesty is more behavior than what you wear. For example, you can be immodest even if you dress in floor length blue-jean skirts. Do you know there a verse that I missed that’s more specific to what clothing is modest or not?

    Yeah, that’s one main type of legalism, but over all, it’s adding rules and stipulations to the Bible. Like sticking laws that you have to follow. Think Sadducees/Pharisees.

    But, what makes you think that the way I dress doesn’t honor God? From what I see, there isn’t anything that says shorter shorts are less modest than longer ones or that they are wrong or don’t honor God?

    Oh, no. Not at all. Judge away. Evil heathen that I am. ;)But when you say that this is modest and that is not, you are setting rules and that is legalism… I definitely agree that everyone should be modest in how they act and dress. Quite so.

    Thanks for replying! ^_^ It’s great to have a level headed discussion with someone who has a different view. You don’t see it much around the internet, unfortunately. 😛

    I’ll head off and read the second part of your article, then! Thanks for replying and sharing your thoughts. ^_^

  21. I’m not trying to draw a line, I’m trying to give a good rule of thumb.

    You are very right! You definitely can attract more attention by dressing modestly than by not dressing modestly. But attention isn’t bad. It’s what /kind/ of attention you’re attracting. Are you being a distraction? Causing others to stumble? Bringing attention to yourself? That is is bad attention. By dressing modestly, you attract good attention. You aren’t causing others to stumble, you’re being considerate, and you are bringing attention to God, not yourself.

    Plus, you /can/ dress modestly without standing out and without being inappropriate.

    You would be right again. Modesty is a character trait (although there is a verse in the Bible that tells women to dress modestly.) I get into this in part 3, which I have yet to post. However, if you have a modest heart, you will dress modestly. Modest dress is the fruit of a modest spirit. You are also correct that dressing modestly does not make one modest. But dressing immodestly certainly doesn’t make one modest either. Haha!

    I don’t believe I’m adding rules. I’ve backed up everything I’ve said with Biblical evidence.

    I don’t know exactly how you dress, so it’s not my place to say. However, shorts shorter than mid-thigh are not modest, and don’t bring honor to God. Why? Because wearing shorts like that can cause your brothers in Christ to stumble, and Paul says that if you cause one of your brothers to stumble, then you have sinned against them, and against God.

    Haha! I’m not calling you an evil heathen. Far from it. 🙂 We all are at different stages in our walk with Christ. I’m merely trying to help. 🙂
    But how can you say everyone should be modest in how they dress if you don’t define what modest is? What if I think being modest means I never have to wear a shirt? What if I just walked around with no shirt all the time. Would you say that is modest? Or what if I wore no clothes? Everyone draws the line somewhere. Why do you draw your line where you do? Are you being legalistic? Do you see what I’m saying?

    I’m not saying you are legalistic, I’m just following the flow of logic.

    No, you don’t see many level headed discussions on the internet. You mostly see, I’M RIGHT, AND YOU’RE WRONG! [insert something derogatory]

    Okay, if you don’t mind, let me know what you think of the second part. 🙂

    Thanks!

    – Reagan

  22. I also want to clarify. When I say modest dress is the result of a modest heart, and that dressing modestly stems from a modest spirit, I don’t mean to say that everyone who dresses immodestly has an immodest heart. It is possible for one to dress immodestly and not realize the effect they are having on others. They may not know that how they dress is bad for them, and bad for other people, but still have a modest heart.

    However, when they are made away that how they dress is wrong, and they have a modest heart, they should take measures to correct. Just as when you accidentally hurt someone, you say you’re sorry and you do better next time. 🙂

  23. Thank you so much for posting this series, Reagan.
    It helps when a guy gives his view point. It puts it all into perspective. 🙂

  24. Well, I read your other two articles. But since I’m running off of four hours of sleep, I don’t think I would have anything productive to add. XD I’m way more compliant and way less thoughtful when sleep deprived. I’ll reply a little later, otherwise you’ll just get a comment that says “That sounds great, can I sleep now?”

    I don’t know, but I guess coming from a very strict conservative Christian school makes a difference… I honestly really dislike when organizations set rules for modesty. As someone’s who’s been publicly “in trouble” for how I dressed somewhere, it leaves a bad taste for legalism. So I guess I completely agree with everything you’re saying except the setting rules for dress. To me, that just defeats the whole point.

    Well I hope I didn’t offend you or anything at the workshops… I apologize if I have.

  25. Wow, this is really good! 🙂 **runs off to Part 2**

  26. Haha! I understand. I’ve exhausted myself.

    And I come from the complete opposite background as you do. I definitely understand how that can leave a bad taste in your mouth. Legalism definitely is a terrible thing. Setting rules for what to wear does defeat the purpose. You’re right. I hope my third part explained that. How modesty really ultimately comes down to the heart, and modest dress should just flow out of us because that’s the kind of people we are.

    You didn’t offend me at all. 🙂 I really enjoyed the time spent with you at the workshop, and your critiques are awesome!

  27. I can see how someone can get the impression that you think skirts are more modest because it sounds like you imply that at one point (This part right here, in case you’re curious “But is dressing modestly so uncomfortable? What’s so uncomfortable about skirts? I’ve never worn one, so I can’t say, however, my two younger sisters say skirts are much more comfortable than pants.” By linking dressing modestly and skirts as both being uncomfortable, it seems like you are implying that skirts are the (only) way to dress modestly, just so you know on a writing note) but I read through all the comments so I understand now that’s not what you were trying to say. I am someone who values modesty very much, but what I hate is the modesty police. The people who insist that only x, y, and z are modest – I think it’s a lot more gray than that. I have read many time that only skirts are modest (and even been told that many times) but I would disagree. I would never say to someone believing that only skirts are modest that they should wear pants because that would make them feel immodest, but there is so much grey area since God never gave us a list. Also, so much of it depends on the culture – different cultures sexualize different body parts – beauty and sex appeal are not universal. But take me for example – I have a 3 month old. Because of that, I spend a lot of time on the floor with him. This makes it much easier for me (personally) to be wearing pants without exposing way too much, but I never wear tight pants, because that wouldn’t be right for me either. When in doubt I ask my husband or if he’s already at work, I pick something else to wear if I’m doubtful.

  28. Thank you very much for pointing this out to me. It was definitely not my intention to say that skirts are the only way to go if you want to be modest. Indeed, in many situations, pants may actually be more modest than skirts.

    I agree with what you’re saying. There definitely is a lot of grey area, and what is modest for one person may not be for another. However, there definitely are some articles of clothing that you can rule out say is immodest. It can get a little tricky, but as I say in part 3, modesty (or the lack thereof) really comes down to the heart. I humble heart won’t try be a stumbling block. From there, it’s just a matter of education (letting these modest individuals know what may be a stumbling block to others) and a matter of self-control (individuals not lusting after others no matter what a person is wearing).

    Thank you very much for you comment. God bless!

    – Reagan

  29. I really like your stance on this – that respecting others and honoring God is more important than being comfortable. Plus that, aren’t we loving our neighbor when we put them above ourselves?? Thankfully, being modest is comfortable, so it’s a win-win. 🙂

    By the way, thanks for commenting on my blog! And for writing this… It doesn’t seem like there’s many guys talking on the subject, only girls. Now I need to go and read the other 2 parts to this…

  30. Thank you! And yes! I don’t understand how people can say skinny jeans or short shorts are more comfortable than modest dressing.

    I like your blog. Thanks you for what you are writing! And yeah, I haven’t come across many male bloggers, period, but I think modesty is very important so I’m happy to talk about it.

    Thanks for reading and commenting!

  31. This is so true! All the girls in my family dress modestly (seven girls). I really do believe modesty is very important. Most of the fashions are strange anyways 😛 Thanks for writing this! 🙂

  32. It’s so great that you dress AND believe in modesty! Thanks for commenting!

  33. Regan you have an amazing way of saying things and I definitely agree with you wearing skirts is so much more comfortable than wearing pants and I can say that because I’ve been on both sides of the line and I can honestly say MODESTY IS THE POLOCIY

  34. This is a great post, it is good to know how guys feel. (Just wanna say)I dislike skirts because they are sorta uncomfortable and are not good for climbing up trees in and running in(so they do have some problems)They can also be a problem if they are long and it is wet or it they are not so long and it is windy. But I sometimes wear them, normally I wear trousers though. Also it can be difficult to find nice modest clothes, It can be done (I would say all my clothes are modest) but it is really hard sometimes. Really great post though….Not my comfort….

  35. Well as I say in the series, you don’t have to wear skirts to be modest. Thanks for reading and commenting! Glad you liked the post!

  36. Thanks for taking the time to write all that!!! 🙂
    I always try to be modest but its hard to know where the line is with todays society saying normal is nearly nothing! Its encouraging to know there are guys out there that are into modesty & not taken with all that other stuff. 🙂

  37. I really like this post…you made it clear and easy to understand! My dad is a Baptist preacher and has been my whole life, and he believes very strongly on modesty. Pretty much exactly what you’ve said…I do have to say that I have worn skirts my whole entire life (I’m 20). I don’t even think twice about it now. Granted I have occasionally wished to wear pants/shorts just to do something “different”!! haha We aren’t allowed to wear anything knee or above, and seriously the only difficult thing about it is actually finding skirts that long!
    I have gotten really irritated at my dad, and guys in general, because of some things that I wore that I was told was immodest. I would never get a reason why I couldn’t wear it just that I had to change. So it is incredibly nice to get a guys P.O.V…thanks!

  38. Thanks for reading! I’m glad you liked it. I do think there is some grey area when it comes to what is acceptable to wear. Ultimately, we should be drawing attention to Christ not ourselves with how we dress.

    I also think we should always know why we do what we do, so I’m glad I could give you another perspective. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read the other two posts in my series, which give even more reasons for why it’s good to be modest. I understand how it can be frustrating to just be told not to do something just because.

    God bless!

  39. Modest is hottest. 🙂 Seriously, Reagan, I’ve never met you before, and it was only by accident that I came across this blog of yours, but let me reassure you: God Almighty is most pleased with you in your task of taking your godly concern over immodest dress to the public. Don’t let anyone deter you.

    Let me also assure you that there are those who will tell you that they love God and they desire to keep his commandments; but really, many of these people prefer to think of God’s holy commandments as thoughtful suggestions. It becomes obvious to those with discernment.

    The truth is, men naturally lust and women naturally want to be lusted after. Women naturally want to be the recipients of a man’s lust. They want to be passionately desired. Her choice in clothing may simply be evidence of how much self-control she has.

    It’s no mindless coincidence then that the most popular clothing among younger women is also that which pushes the envelope toward revealing more of the female body while still remaining in that culturally acceptable window. Less clothing; tighter clothing. The natural woman is controlled by her desire for men insofar as she desires to be lusted after indiscriminately. Though, she may only want sweetly modest reminders that men are lusting after her, since men who are too forward may nearly bring to the forefront of her mind the full effect of how she behaves and how she presents her body publicly.

    A young woman is not as cutely naïve as many, even men, would like you to think. She is not ignorant. Nor is a scandalous woman wise. If, while even a pubescent girl, she’s ever seen how young men react to, and huddle around, the girls in tight pants and skimpy tops… If she’s ever watched a man’s eyes as he finds a woman, while she observes the attire of other woman… If she’s ever paid attention to the obvious fact that the human female body is among the most widely used marketing tools to attract customers…

  40. (Continued from above.)

    She knows sufficiently the power her body holds to men and she knows of what kind it is. She knows it is sexual. It was intended this way by God. And there is no shame in this, as some will accuse us of saying. Yet it can be used to build up or to tear down. She can use this for good or she can use it for evil. But despite how she may publicly present her body, she may not be willing to assume any responsibility from this. No, instead many want to put every last bit of responsibility and any sin incurred, I mean all of it, on the backs of the men.

    Reagan, you may hear some Christians, “casual Christians” I call them, both women and men, tell you: “Don’t make Your problem a woman’s problem. It’s not a woman’s problem you can’t keep yourself from stumbling”. But we know that this is completely the wrong attitude. It is an unloving attitude. It’s spiteful. God has commanded us that we love one another. And by bearing each other’s burdens we thereby obey God’s commandment to love others, even as we would desire to be loved (.Galatians, 6.2).

    Jesus Christ said that any who would enter the kingdom of heaven must first become like a child. A man who is pursuing a pure heart and mind is becoming like a child. In the New Testament we read that Jesus said, “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (.Matthew, 18.6). Stern words.

    To those with discernment, Reagan, these things are like common sense. But to those who would rather subvert the practical application and the spiritual significance of God’s commandments, these things are hard to hear. Instead, they hate the “modest police” and they regard any attempt to define the practical application of God’s commandments as “legalism”. These are the casual Christians. They never get beyond the point of asking skeptically, “Okay, so how short is ‘too’ short? How tight is ‘too’ tight?” If, with sincerity of heart and a desire to obey God, they took these matters to God in prayer, the fullness of the truth would be revealed to them and they would not make a fuss about it, but would joyfully abide in his truth. But this is simply not the case with the casual Christian… because they don’t have an eternal perspective; they don’t have a yearning to know and to appreciate the things of God, whatever the cost: be it their favorite top, or even most of their whole wardrobe. Some have different priorities. Keep up the good work.

    In Christ,
    Your Mormon friend: an imperfect person and a thankful convert to the true Church of Jesus Christ

  41. Thank you very much for the encouraging comments, Jared! I really appreciate that you took the time to write all of that out. I also definitely agree with you. I’ve experienced so much of what you described. It’s sad because it hurts so many people, including the girls who practice immodesty. It’s even more upsetting to see those who call on the name of Christ also following the pattern of the world. Hopefully they will start to awaken and see that the kind of attention they are receiving, is not the kind they want.

    Thanks again, I wish you well!

    Stand Fast,
    Reagan

  42. So many truths here! Thanks for this! I blog at abidingwoman.com Nice stopping by your corner of the web today to be encouraged in modesty!

  43. You are very welcome! Thanks for reading and the encouraging comment!

  44. Thankyou for this. At my school all the girls dress like sl*ts. I wear mostly t-shirts jeans, dresses and sometimes skirts. I always get made fun of for dressing modestly. I dress this way because I’m a bit chubby. I loved this and I thought it was a very interesting subject. 🙂

  45. For the most part I like what you re trying to do with this article. However I do wonder why it seems that you have applied your modesty principles to women? Modesty is truly something we are all called to.

  46. I definitely agree that modesty is for all. In fact, I’m currently writing a book on this idea, and how it applies to all of us. However, this particular post was meant to be a guy’s view on female modesty for the benefit of girls and women.

  47. My name is Anca.
    Hello I wanted to add a comment. I grew up in Romania the norms there were modest clothing. Parents were very religious. I come from a christian background. The norms there is if you sin against god you go and confess to your priest. I was ok with that. Not very religious. Watch all kinds of what men call shameful things but I have a standard from my religious parent on how I should present myself. For me modesty means how you present yourself. I am ok with being modest. When I grew up I was bullied by my classmates. Physical violence was quite common. Also I have been as a child been told I was ugly by my male classmates. Also I have been spit on by bullies. Have a natural fear of men. I am ok with having a man talking to me. As I grew up I noticed that I didnt have many friends and quite alienated myself. For me this topic of modesty tells about your character. Have been quite literally being propositioned by a man at my college one year if and I would say would you like to go somewhere. I have recognized that my fear for this was not because of the man itself but a fear of anything to do with touching. I am quite sure I am as a woman autistic. How would this work for me in the real world where let’s say I would like to have a relationship.

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