This Pastor Hates His Children

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:15 that, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
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What a harsh-sounding verse, and yet, it’s true. Children are not born perfect. We are all born sinful (Psalm 51:5, Romans 3:23). Children need to be taught, by their parents, and especially fathers (Ephesians 6:4) what is right and wrong. As we all know, children are very impressionable, and can easily be swayed one way or another by their parents’ teachings.
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Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to raise godly children, and to teach them how to become like Christ. This is what is best for children. To do otherwise would be very unloving.
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Recently, I have seen several people post this article on Facebook about a pastor who would support a lifestyle of homosexuality for his Children. What is even more disturbing is that these are Christians who are supporting this man, calling his article “beautiful”. It is despicable, and this pastor hates his children.
True, this pastor does say some good things in his article. He says that he will love his children if they are gay,
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“I don’t mean some token, distant, tolerant love that stays at a safe arm’s length. It will be an extravagant, open-hearted, unapologetic, lavish, embarrassing-them-in-the-school cafeteria, kind of love.”

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Yes, parents should unconditionally love their children. No matter what their children do, parents should still love their children. This is the love that God has for us. But this isn’t limited to affection.
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The problem is this pastor thinks love means you have to support and agree with whatever decision a child makes. That is not love. Love is wanting and willing what is best for someone, and a homosexual lifestyle is very far from healthy.
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This pastor says he will pray for his children, but apparently he won’t be praying for their best interests.

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“I won’t pray for them to be made ‘normal’. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are gay, that is their normal.”

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Let’s apply this same quote to something else. If this pastor had written an article saying he will love and support his children if they decided to become drug addicts, I don’t think as many people would be singing his praises.
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What if he had said, “I won’t pray for them to be made ‘normal’. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are drug addicts, that is their normal.”
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Or perhaps, “I won’t pray for them to be made ‘normal’. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are selfish bullies, that is their normal.”
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We would all harshly criticize parents who allowed their children to bully others, or who accepted and encouraged their children to engage in a lifestyle of addictive drug habits. Certainly, parents can still love and support their children who are addicted to drugs, or who selfishly abuse others, but their love would not be complete if they also supported such destructive actions. Supporting and allowing that which harms a child it wouldn’t be love at all. It would be hate; consciously willing what is bad for them. This is why the Bible instructs us in Proverbs 13:24, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
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Of course, there are those who would say supporting drug addiction or bullying/assault is different than a lifestyle of homosexuality. They say that homosexuality is not a sin. Christians who believe such have rejected the Bible. 
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Hey, it would be easy if the Bible didn’t say homosexuality was wrong. If we had examples of homosexuality being good and healthy and bringing glory to God in the Bible, then we wouldn’t have a problem. Unfortunately, the Bible is clear, and homosexuality is sinful. We have to go by God’s word, not the feelings or faulty understanding of men. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman.
The Bible is clear that engaging in homosexuality is sinful, and therefore harmful and destructive (Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Romans 1:26-28, 1 Timothy 1:10, Jude 1:7, etc). A parent accepting and encouraging their child to go down such a destructive road hates their child. That’s just a fact.
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This father isn’t loving his children because he doesn’t want what is best for them. In fact, it sounds like he’s hoping that they are gay. He even says that they already are gay,
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“If my kids are going to be gay, well they pretty much already are.”

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It sounds to me like he wants his children to be gay, maybe so he can make a big show of still “loving” them despite their lifestyle choices, or maybe he actually thinks it’s beautiful and good, I don’t know.  What I do know is if his children do turn out to be gay, it will very likely not be because of any gene, but because of the pro-gay agenda he is exposing them to.
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When you look at the statistics, the majority of people who end up embracing homosexuality don’t do so because they claim to have been born that way. Mike Haley, a former homosexual and now Director of Gender Issues for Focus on the Family, points out that the vast majority of those who claim to be homosexual are so because of traumatic experiences in their childhood, such as being sexually molested as a child, a broken home, or poor relationships with parents. Generally, there is a progression that leads to one embracing homosexuality.
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As Frank Worthen, the founder of Exodus International, states, “though many people claim that they have experienced visual or sexual attraction for the same sex ‘as long as they can remember,’ there is a progression in a person’s life that leads to a homosexual psychic response.”
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Or, in the words of Mike Haley, God created each of us as a complex creature. We have needs that must be met in order for us to grow and mature. When these needs are not met, we establish immature coping mechanisms that often work directly against God’s original intent for us.”
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Homosexuality is a disorder: a sickness. You do not shun or hate a person who is sick, you love them. Part of loving them is accepting and supporting them as a person created in the image of God. The other part of loving them is helping them get better, but encouraging them to continue to drink the poison that is making them sick is completely and utterly unloving.  And yet, this is exactly what this pastor is advocating. Not just letting your children drink the poison, but helping them do so.
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If this pastor’s children do turn out to be gay, it will probably only be because of his encouraging. By being supportive of the sin, and not teaching Biblical manhood, womanhood, and marriage, he is opening his children up to the lies of Satan which have confused so many others in our society today. Not only that, but this father will be supporting their confusion, should it emerge. For these young souls, the destructive path will look like the yellow brick road.
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Even if there is a mythical “gay gene,” which leads to someone being predisposed to becoming homosexual later on in life, this doesn’t make embracing a lifestyle of homosexuality suddenly right or beneficial. We are all born into sin. We are all predisposed to sin from birth.
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Some have a greater tendency to worry, or to sin in their anger, or to be violent, or to lie, or cheat, or steal, or lust, or covet, etc. We don’t encourage children when they are being selfish and take a toy away from another child. We tell them “no”. Why? Because this activity (stealing) is harmful to them and others. It’s wrong.
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Homosexuality also harms, not only those who practice it, but society as a whole. As we’ve seen throughout history, the embracing of homosexuality is generally the last straw in a succession of corruption that causes a society and culture to crumble. The Greeks, the Romans, and of course we all know the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.
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Children have to be taught how to behave. Boys have to be taught how to act like men, and girls have to be taught to act like women. Right behavior doesn’t come naturally; evil behavior does.
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This pastor claims to love his children, but if he really loved them, he would not accept and normalize sin. He would not wish for his children to engage in such a harmful lifestyle. Unquestionably, he should accept his children as people. He should love them no matter what they do, good or bad. That is displaying Christ. However, out of love, he should not accept sin. Out of love, he should discipline his children when they do wrong. Out of love, he should correct his children when they have mistakenly embraced a lie.
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A parent who loves their child teaches them what is right and how they can live the best life they possibly can. A parent who hates their child does just the opposite, teaching them that bad is good, and leaving them at the mercy of the world to decipher what is the best way to live life. Too many parents aren’t loving their children these days.
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“He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” – Malachi 4:6

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16 Comments

  1. Excellent post! You bring out some really good points, but 2 of our favorites were how you equate homosexuality as a “sickness” but then offer a “cure” and how you counter the “gay gene” with all of humanity's predisposition to sin. This pastor/father is setting his children up for life-long failure and consequences. I hope he reads this post.

  2. Pardon my expression but you've got your head so far up the Bible's ass that you can't see the world as it is becoming. It is becoming an era of acceptance and beauty and kindness. People like you and your hateful naiive words are just tainting the beauty.

  3. In the grand scheme, your beliefs that are bizarre and ghoulish; they represent the worst of human intellect. If there is any “sickness” here, it is the cognitive malady that allows adults like you, to construct a worldview based on the ancient text of a barbaric illiterate desert tribe, apply it to modernity, and then think yourself virtuous.

  4. “Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to raise godly children, and to teach them how to become like Christ.”

    Yes, but you've got the cart ahead of the horse. It is FIRST the responsibility of parents to love their children as they are unconditionally and only THEN the responsibility of parents to raise godly children and teach them to become like Christ (by Loving God, Loving People and Serving the World as He did).

    Part of that life-long journey of becoming like Christ involves quieting yourself to hear the quiet voice of God directly in quiet time and indirectly through fellowship with Christians who can speak into your life; sometimes that will involve correction and turning away from sin as God points it out; that's certainly true and uncontroversial.

    Part of what's being missed in this discussion is that you and John are using different definitions of “gay”/”homosexuality” and you're talking past each other. John is defining being gay as “having same-sex attraction”; you can not control who you are attracted to, many have tried to “pray away the gay” and who can blame them? It is EXCEEDINGLY difficult to be gay, ESPECIALLY when you've grown up in a loving Christian home and realize that you're having unwanted attraction to the same sex as you enter puberty; these kids KNOW that life will be easier and their relationships with their parents and friends will be easier if they can just “pray the gay away”. Exodus International being the poster-child for these “gay reparative therapies”, who you quoted; you may or may not know that Exodus International shut down in June of 2013 after realizing that gay reparative therapy does NOT work and you cannot “pray the gay away”; they saw all the damage that the practice and world view had done, resulting in numbers of suicides for people when it just didn't work. (Including several prominent Exodus International members who had to acknowledge that they couldn't pray away even their own same sex attraction.) My point is that when you define “gay” as “someone who has same-sex attractions”, it seems beyond reasonable and biblical to say that you will love your children and show them love even if they find that they have same-sex attractions. I'd like to think that there's at least agreement up to this point.

    John never states that he would not correct his children lovingly if they sin, that's a totally different issue entirely and a conclusion that you're jumping to.

  5. Well, if the world is becoming more accepting and beautiful and kind, I guess you must not be a part of it, since what you said wasn't kind or accepting, and certainly not beautiful. Refering to the Bible's mythical rear end in such way, was less than elegant.

  6. Oh, Amanda… You claim the world is becoming “an era[sic] of acceptance and beauty and kindness,” but saying something like “you've got your head so far up the Bible's ass” is not accepting, beautiful, and kind. Quite the exact opposite, therefore, your claim about the world is pure bunk. We're not the least bit surprised, though, because your version of “acceptance” and “kindness” does not apply to Christian beliefs. (Note: that man's beliefs about homosexuality are demonstrably NOT Christian.)

  7. Intolerant liberal hypocrite.

  8. Cute straw man argument. Got anything logically sound to present instead?

  9. No, it's pretty clear that John would fully and shamelessly celebrate his children acting upon their same-sex attractions.

  10. Everyone is freaking out about that article, and honestly, they shouldn't be. He didn't EVER even mention if he thought being gay was right or wrong. He didn't take a stance at all. He said he would “Love his children.” the end. If I post an article saying “If my kids lie… I will still love them” should I get horrible articles written about me? Loving doesn't equal accepting or agreeing with. It equals loving. Not a single one of us is perfect, and if having a sin in our lives (no matter what that sin is) means we don't deserve love….?? I don't know what else to say to that.

  11. Actually, he is pretty clear that he thinks gay is fine. That's why he said he wouldn't pray for them to change. He was very clear that if they chose to live a homosexual lifestyle, he would support that.

    If the article had been about how he would love his children even if they decided to engage in a homosexual lifestyle, then that would have been great! Love is doing what is best for someone, and a parent should help lead a child toward a lifestyle that will help them flourish, not the opposite.

    Yes, we are all sinful, but I sure hope you don't encourage your children to lie just because they were born with a tenancy to want to lie. I'm very thankful my parents loved me enough not to let me do exactly what I wanted.

  12. He doesn't use that exact language, but it's clear he supports homosexuality.

    Our culture is so confused on what love means. A parent can love and accept their child without encouraging or going along with their sin.

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  14. Definitely taking the bull by the horns! Bravo, Reagan!
    I really enjoyed reading this post. You brought out several good points, especially calling homosexuality what it is; a sin.
    Thank you for tackling this issue! 🙂

    Stand fast!

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