Wife, Please Go See If That’s A Murderer

Feminism’s crusade against Chivalry and all things gender specific has been overwhelmingly successful. At one point in time, for better or worse, there were clear gender distinctions. The husband was the provider, and the wife managed the home. The husband was the protector, and the wife was the nurturer. If there was a potential murderer/stalker person parked outside your house, the husband would investigate, not the wife.
 Not anymore.
After a day of moving and unpacking, the sun had set. No street lights left the road in blackness. The moving truck was parked in front of our driveway, and I sat in front of it in our car. As I was waiting for the truck to move so I could pull our car into our drive, the neighbors began to come down their driveway in their car. Their drive met our street between where I was parked and the moving truck. Before the neighbors could reach the road, they stopped.
The light inside their vehicle turned on, and I saw a man and a woman talking, I’m guessing they were husband and wife. After a few seconds, the wife got out and began to walk toward me. As she approached, I lowered my window.
“Hello!” I said.
“Are you with the people moving in?” she asked. I replied in the affirmative. “Okay, just making sure,” she said, then walked back to their car and they drove away. So apparently they were worried I was some kind of stalker or thief staking out their house or something, and yet the wife went to investigate instead of the husband?
This is very small example, but I think this situation represents the cultural confusion we have today surrounding how men are supposed to treat women. The Feminist ideology steeping our culture has imposed upon women the lie that they do not have choices to make; that they can “have it all” and not have to face the consequences. Not too long ago, a man never would have had his wife go investigate the mysterious car parked in front of their house. He would have investigated himself, partly because men are typically better equipped than women to handle potentially violent situations. More importantly, because it is the husband’s job to love and protect his wife, not because of anything she has or hasn’t done, or can or cannot do, but out of respect for the mere fact that she is a woman, and his wife.

In our world today, however, it is considered incredibly sexist, misogynistic, and patriarchal to believe in the traditional gender role notion that it is the job of the husband to protect his wife, and that she should submit to his protection. A broader example, Chivalry is often demonized as “benevolent sexism,” and our modern culture has been saturated by a deluge of gender-role reversal. Is this really what women want?
Lately, I have come across quite a few different articles online sharing advice on how to be a gentleman, and yet these articles are shared by the very women who attack the idea of gender roles. It seems many don’t realize that if you want sameness or absolute “equality,” you can’t expect men to act chivalrously. Feminists want to be independent, and declare that, “women need men like a fish needs a bicycle.” Yet, when women are feeling dependent, and men don’t step up and become dependable, such men are labeled as insensitive jerks. Feminists would have women act unlovable, and yet demand to be loved. Such feminism encourages women to adopt the idea that they should dress in such a way as to attract the attention of men…but men better not notice too much, or they’re misogynistic creeps.
What feminists want is to be strong and self-reliant, in need of nothing, especially not men, and yet women also want to be fought for, protected, pursued, and cherished. In other words, Feminism demands that women should be able to act like men, but be treated like women.
Unfortunately, that’s not the way reality works. Women are not being treated like women today because they aren’t acting like women. Post as many articles you want about how men should be more gentlemanly and chivalrous, but it isn’t going to do anything (although some smart guys may disingenuously adopt those tactics as a mere ploy to pick-up women).
Of course, scripture instructs men to love their wives. There is no condition placed on this command, so even if a man’s wife really is acting unlovable, he should still love her, serve her, and protect her, just because she is his wife. Why? Because that’s what Jesus did for us.
Though we were yet sinners, though we hated Him, though we tortured and murdered Him, He still loved us and did what was best for us. He gave His life for us. The Bible frequently compares the relationship between us (the church) and Christ as the relationship between a husband and wife. We are the unlovable bride, and yet Christ still loved us. This is why husbands should love their wives unconditionally.
We are also commanded to love our neighbors, and there is no condition placed on this command either. So I definitely believe that we should treat everyone respectfully, and that men should respect women just because they are women, even if they act in a disrespectful manner. We should love everyone we encounter—will their good—as best we can, not because of what they do or don’t do, but because of who they are: a child of God.
I confess that I could do a much better job at loving my neighbor and respecting women for being women, so I am not claiming to have mastered these two principles yet, but it is what we should strive for, and what I am seeking to get better at.
However, if the genders are equal and the same, then women should not get any special treatment. We as a society must seek to abolish female privilege. Oh, don’t believe me that female privilege exists? Here is a partial list that was put together by men’s rights activists who have arisen as a direct response to feminism. The problem is these men’s rights activists are really no different from feminists, they still want sameness; however, the only difference is that they are pointing out the double-standards we have in our society, and how women are very frequently treated better, and men are discriminated against.

1. From an early age the opposite sex will be instructed never to hit me but I may not be given the same instructions. However, should I strike males I can expect not to be hit back and any social penalties that occur from my actions will actually fall on the male.6. At any time I can abandon my parental responsibilities with little or no social stigma and hand the child over to the state or abort the pregnancy. A male could never relieve himself of this burden unless I allow him to.7. I am granted all the rights of a democracy without any of the burdens of military service.11. When I’m on a date things will be paid for me.12. When I search for employment I can choose jobs which I think are fulfilling without concern of whether they provide a “family” wage.13. I can discriminate against the opposite sex ruthlessly without social penalty.16. If I am a partner in crime with a man I will likely be charged with lesser crimes even though I committed the same crimes even if I was the ringleader.34. If a male soldier injures himself before a deployment he can be arrested and court marshaled for it. If I deliberately get pregnant before a deployment or even during a deployment I will be reassigned and or taken out of a war zone and I will receive no penalty for it.36. I can wear masculine clothing if it pleases me however men cannot wear feminine clothing without social penalty.38. I can claim that a wage gap exists and that it is the fault of sexism while simultaneously seeking employment without considering income as a priority. I will probably choose my job based on satisfaction, flexibility of hours, and working conditions and then expect to make as much as the males working nights, out in the rain and cold or working overtime.41. If I abuse my husband and physically assault him and the police arrive it is almost guaranteed he will go to jail.43. In the event of a natural disaster or other emergency that requires evacuation I can expect to be evacuated before males. This includes male doctors, humanitarians, politicians, captains of industry, billionaires, and religious leaders. I will receive no social penalty if all of those people died because I was evacuated first. However, should they manage to get evacuated before women and those women died they will all suffer a social penalty.47. I may denounce the concept of a dowry, however, I still expect a man to give me an engagement ring when he asks me to marry him.48. I expect a man to ask me to marry me and suffer the potential risk of rejection.93. I can wear seductive clothing and perfume to attract a man at work but no one will accuse me of sexual harassment.

I personally don’t have a problem with most of these discrepancies, and that’s because I think men and women are different, not because I think men are less-than women. I also think men should be taught to esteem women, and treat them as more important than themselves, but under our feminist regime, the protection and deference women are supposed to see from men disappears. 
Just as feminism encourages women to disregard children and men and consider only their own personal happiness, so too does feminist ideology encourage men to only think about what will make them happy.
Because of feminism, men today aren’t taught to see women as being different and worthy of respect just because they are women. We are taught today that men and women are just the same, and if that’s the case, why should we treat women any differently? Why should I have to be the one to make the first sacrifice? Why should I have to be the one to take the risk? Why should I be expected to save women before myself? Why should I go see if that is a stalker or a murderer parked in that car?


In this new world of sameness, women should not expect any special treatment from men. So, girls, please stop posting articles like this one; they are incredibly sexist, and degrading of men. Women are strong, and capable of taking care of themselves. She should open her own door, and put on her own coat. If you think men should be “chivalrous” or “gentlemanly” then you are promoting the oppressive matriarchy which rules our society.
Or, better yet, to make up for all the years of oppression of males by female privilege, she should open the door for me. She should pull out my chair for me. She should sit after I sit. She should help me take on and take off my coat. She should have to give up her seat for me. She should carry my bags. I call it Effeminate Action, and it’s only fair.
Of course, if men were to actually assert that women treat them with the same amount of respect and deference, they would be called sexists. Yet, men finally are starting to take up the feminist flag of sameness, and we are moving in this direction. Right now men are merely not doing the things they used to do to show respect to women (chivalry is dead), but there are a growing number of men (and women) who wish to see the abolition of “female privilege” entirely. As a result, we see fewer and fewer men acting like men, and new burdens falling on women.

Is this really good for women? Men? Society? Is this really what women want? If so, then let us continue to glorify feminism, and thank it for giving us this unprecedented culture of androgyny.


  1. Good article. Both men and women need to embrace their roles, and be skilled accordingly.

  2. I have absolutely no issue holding doors for males and females alike. I would happily pay for dates with my boyfriend. If he needed help getting his coat on or off, I'd give him a hand. I don't think we need to give special treatment to any one gender, but rather to human beings. If we're going to be fair and still be nice, courteous, decent human beings, why can't we all be “chivalrous” to each other? And really, chivalry is a dead concept, since nobody is sword fighting to defend their honor or holding hosting tournaments anymore.

  3. Amen! Thank you for an inspiring, thoughtful post, Reagan.

  4. Good post.

  5. Wow Reagan, there's a lot to unpack in this post! You've brought out things I hadn't thought of, but need to consider, not only as a woman, but a mother raising sons and daughters alike. What a confusing era to grow up in, with all this “gender-blending”. I want my sons to behave as gentlemen, but my daughters must also conduct themselves as ladies, worthy of the “special treatment” that we are privy to. Thank you for writing such a thought-provoking post. We will be discussing this one as a family.

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